There are some stereotypical things that come along with being a Pastor's wife. I guess you could call them cliches when they are said out loud to you, and every time, you are taken back by their naivety, boldness or utter nonsense. Do people forget that we have the same feelings, hormones and fears as the next girl?
Not too long ago I was speaking to a woman that was dealing with the fact that the only time people call her is when they need something. She really doesn't have any friends in the church...etc. Through the conversation I was able to empathize with her as I have felt the same way. But in the next few seconds of our conversation I realized how differently I am viewed when she said "well, you're the Pastor's wife so you are supposed to be used to this and not worry about it". With my mouth on the floor I realized I am viewed from another planet with no struggles, no fears and no need of true friendships. Things couldn't be farther from the truth.
Through another conversation I also realized that because my husband is the Pastor I have no need of Biblical encouragement. This one struck me funny as I recall the old quote "The cobbler's children have the worst shoes" and "The dentist's children have cavities" Often times what we give to others on a regular basis is what we neglect in those closest to us in our "down time". Don't get me wrong, my husband is the greatest of all encourages and teacher of God's Word in our home. My point is, just because he is the spiritual leader of the church does not mean that our devotional life, spiritual conversations and biblical encouragement is better or worse than the next family. Even the preachers wife needs a buddy to come alongside her and strengthen her. She might just need it!
Two weeks ago my wonderful Mother and friend passed away. I will blog about the turn of events another day. I was so blessed by many cards and written word. But there was a resounding sentence than was given to my husband and back to me on a regular basis..."I didn't want to call because I figured you were being bombarded". Understandable? Yes! Was it the truth? Not at all. There was quite the silence on the phone lines for the weeks following her death. Again, i am not sure the mindset of this. People may think you are fine, people may think you are strong and will get through it, others may think your husband is all you need. I may never know the mind and hearts of people, I believe they are good and in no way would neglect a hurting soul...even is she is strong, but I have learned one thing...BOMBARD ME! I am thankful for the lesson learned through this journey, if you are hurting I will bombard you! I think, at one time, I may have been among those that thought i was bombarding if I called during a trial ...i know differently now...the silence is worse. Thank you Lord for life lessons so that I may glorify YOU and be a better friend and encourager!
